


Listen before i go

by feentanz



Series: One Shots [41]
Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Angst, Bedsharing, F/M, Smut, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:21:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24556822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feentanz/pseuds/feentanz
Summary: Zoya glanced at him for a moment, wondering where that sudden concern came from. Did she truly look so exhausted? Then again, a night in Nikolai’s bed was the last thing she needed on her plate of worries right now. “I’m not sure your reputation would survive such a thing,” she just said. Nikolai shrugged, seemingly unbothered. “Half the Little Palace thinks that you are my mistress anyway, so why bother?” Something was gleaming in his eyes. “Unless of course, you’re afraid that you wouldn’t be able to resist me.”
Relationships: Nikolai Lantsov/Zoya Nazyalensky
Series: One Shots [41]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/594364
Comments: 7
Kudos: 62





	Listen before i go

“You look tired.”   
  
Of course, he had noticed. Nikolai always noticed. Zoya rolled her eyes in response, leaning closer to secure the shackles around his left wrist. “I don’t have a lot of time to sleep, do I?” she replied dryly. “Since I need to be here every morning and night.”   
  
Something like guilt flashed across his features at the words, and she noticed him turning his head away. He still felt bad for what had happened at the belltower. They had not brought it up just yet, either of them. 

She moved to his other wrist, locking it with the key around her neck without another word. 

“You can stay,” Nikolai suddenly offered. “The bed is big enough.” He flashed a grin that was perhaps even half genuine. 

_ Right.  _ Zoya snorted. “Careful, Your Highness. Don’t push me.”   
  
He huffed a laugh, but his face was serious. “I mean it. I feel bad for making you get up before sunrise every day.”   
  
Zoya glanced at him for a moment, wondering where that sudden concern came from. Did she truly look so exhausted? Then again, a night in Nikolai’s bed was the last thing she needed on her plate of worries right now. “I’m not sure your reputation would survive such a thing,” she just said.

Nikolai shrugged, seemingly unbothered. “Half the Little Palace thinks that you are my mistress anyway, so why bother?” Something was gleaming in his eyes. “Unless of course, you’re afraid that you wouldn’t be able to resist me.” 

For a second she contemplated strangling him with the chain. “In your dreams, Your Highness,” she replied coolly, instead closing the last lock and watching the rest of the chains pinning the king in place. 

“Then where’s the harm in staying?” Nikolai apparently didn’t want to give up. “You can tell me a bedtime story.” 

Zoya blew a strand of hair away from her face, sitting up straight. “That’s Tolya’s specialty.” And yet… She found that she didn’t want to leave. It wasn’t just the fact that she hadn’t gotten a good night of sleep since the events on the belltower - or even before, with the constant worry about Nikolai on her mind - but also that she enjoyed the comfort of this room. 

“Come on, Nazyalensky,” Nikolai interrupted her thoughts. “I’m chained to the bed either way.” 

She rolled her eyes, getting to her feet and sinking down at the opposite edge of the bed. “If the monster makes an appearance tonight, please don’t wake me.” 

Nikolai laughed, head dropping back against the pillows. “I will try my very best.” 

Zoya couldn’t stop herself from smirking as she rolled into the bed beside him, although careful to keep her distance. She could still feel the warmth of his body, even when she slipped under the blankets as if the extra layer of fabric might protect her. The scent of Nikolai’s cologne lingered in the air. It was a fragile sort of intimacy. 

“You could start with a story about your amplifier,” Nikolai suggested into the silence, obviously determined to drive her mad. 

Zoya huffed, rolling over and turning her back towards him. “Goodnight, Your Highness.”   
  
She could hear him chuckle. “Goodnight Zoya.” 

Zoya awoke when the first sun rays found their way into the room, for a second confused about whose bed she had woken up in. But then she remembered and tensed automatically when she noticed how  _ close  _ to Nikolai she really was. 

She instantly shifted away, ignoring the fact that until now, she had been resting her head on his shoulder. That was something to worry about later. 

Nikolai seemed asleep, and she had to force herself not to look at him if only to keep her own emotions in check. Instead, she slipped out of the bed, careful not to wake the king, and vanished into the next-door bathroom. She splashed some cold water into her face, trying to stop her mind from turning traitor.  _ This was a one-time thing.  _ She wouldn’t let Nikolai coax her into anything like this happening ever again. 

No matter how charming he could be. 

She returned to the bedroom, and this time the king was awake. “Nazyalensky,” he greeted. “What a lovely sight you make in the morning.”

He really was impossible. Zoya preferred to save herself the reply, instead climbing back into the bed and beginning to unfasten the chains. She tried her best to keep the touch of Nikolai’s bare skin minimal, but it was enough to distract her, enough that she struggled to even open the lock. 

Zoya, at last, managed to free his left wrist, moving across him. Just then Nikolai shifted in the covers, and she could have sworn that it had not been an accident. It was still surprising enough to make her almost fall over, and Nikolai’s arm around her waist was the only thing steadying her. 

“Not quite awake just yet?” he commented, his touch lingering. 

Zoya attempted to free herself, hesitantly resting one hand on his naked chest while pushing herself up, freeing the king’s other hand. “Your company isn’t as soothing as you like to pretend,” she commented if only to distract herself from the fact that he was much too close to her, that she could feel his heart beating under her fingertips, and that his breathing was grazing the skin of her neck. 

Nikolai smirked, but although the chains were gone, he didn’t move. His arm remained around her waist, as if he had forgotten that it was there. Zoya in comparison was alarmingly aware of the touch. 

A few seconds passed, and she wasn’t able to do anything except stare down into his eyes.  _ Get out of here,  _ her inner voice whispered and yet Zoya didn’t, or perhaps  _ couldn’t.  _

And then Nikolai suddenly shifted, making Zoya back off. She sat up, but not fast enough because he caught her by the waist all the same. Zoya barely noticed how she was now seated perfectly in his lap, being too busy keeping her breathing even as Nikolai placed a hand on her lower back and pulled her even closer. 

His skin was still warm from sleep, some messy hair falling into his face. She couldn’t tear her gaze away. She couldn’t… Her eyes fluttered shut even before his lips met hers, and then all she knew was Nikolai. 

The kiss was awfully slow at first as if he was waiting for her approval, and Zoya lost her last bit of rational thinking. Her lips opened under his and then his tongue was flicking against hers, Nikolai’s hands now on either side of her face. She rested her fingers against his chest, running along his neck, feeling the muscles of his back move under her touch. 

Zoya exhaled sharply as Nikolai’s lips went down her throat, nipping at the skin, taking his time. His fingers were pulling the  _ kefta  _ from her shoulders, letting it pool down at her hips. He kissed along the newly exposed skin and the sense of  _ wanting  _ hit Zoya so heavily that for a second she couldn’t breathe. 

_ How had they ever believed that this would work out?  _

Her hands brushed over his toned stomach, then lower, pulling at the waistband of his pants. They had gone too far to stop now. If they were starting a fire, they might as well burn the whole palace down. 

Nikolai’s fingers dug into her thighs as he pulled her closer, brushing the rest of the silk away, and then Zoya shifted further into his lab, allowing him to sink into her. She gasped, nails scraping along Nikolai’s back as she searched for something to hold onto. His hot breath caressed the side of her neck as he continued his trail upwards, lips nipping at the skin of her earlobe. 

Zoya tipped her head back, rolling her hips against him as slow as she dared to move. She was afraid if she moved too fast, the bubble would burst, and the moment end. It felt like dancing across a fine line, always daring to fall. 

Nikolai’s hands moved back to her waist, pulling her closer, forcing her to move. Zoya leaned against him more heavily for support, barely able to take any air in. Her body seemed to be set on fire, her head spinning with the sensation of  _ this,  _ all of this. 

He pressed hot kisses to her neck, her throat, the spot just above her collarbones. Zoya arched her back, pressing her body closer against his, digging her nails into the skin of his shoulders as she tried to hold onto him. 

_ They weren’t supposed to be doing this.  _

They weren’t supposed to be doing this at all. 

Zoya gasped as Nikolai’s lips returned to hers, his tongue flicking against her own and she knew she was lost. Her last bit of control seemed to slip away. Nikolai’s fingers dug into her waist when she rolled her hips faster against him, making him groan. 

The world was spinning, moving too fast. Nikolai silenced her with his lips when Zoya fell apart around him, pressing a few more kisses to the edge of her jaw. She was panting, resting her hands against the warm skin of his neck. For a second, it felt familiar. 

For a second it felt like it could be alright. 

Then Zoya pulled away, dropping her hands so quickly as if she had burned herself. Nikolai seemed to have sensed her shift, letting go of her waist immediately. 

She moved away from him, trying to smooth her hair out with her fingers while pulling her  _ kefta  _ back on. She was still breathing unevenly, refusing to acknowledge what had just happened. This arrangement had been fragile from the start, a ticking bomb only waiting to explode. 

They had just blown it all up. 

Zoya pressed her lips together, not daring to even look at Nikolai when she slipped out of the bed. She closed her eyes for a moment, turning her back to him. She really was an idiot. She never should have agreed to spend the night here. 

Nikolai was moving behind her, and then suddenly he was standing right in front of her. His expression was weary, thoughtful. But his gaze was calm. He was waiting for her to say something, apparently. 

Zoya raised her chin, meeting his eyes. “This never happened.” She knew better than to hope that this wouldn’t change anything between them, but they still at least had to pretend. 

For a second, something flickered across Nikolai’s face. It might have been hurt. But then he turned away, nodding. “Of course.” 

Zoya took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure. Act as if nothing had happened. Follow her own advice, for once. “I’ll see you later,” was all she said, before fleeing the room and leaving Nikolai behind. 

She didn’t miss the way he was staring after her until the door fell shut. 


End file.
